Life Done Free
Tag and Bee from Life Done Free
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The Unwilling to Participate Spouse
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The Unwilling to Participate Spouse
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You know, I recall this being an issue at first. So I prayed about it, and I knew my job stayed the same. As woman of the household, my job, as I took it to be, was to ensure my household had what they needed, and living in Florida with Hurricanes and flooding and such, being ready is important as being resilient. So, I just remained steadfast.
I was with a great man who was a Fire Captain/Paramedic/RN, so I really was very single as well, as he basically worked all the time. When he was home, we worked together, and when we rested, I just watched on YouTube what I did all the other times. He listened, as he was in the room, and it sort of educated him. Not too long after, he became a champion of the mission on his own, to his groups at work. It was a great thing to watch. He was a great man. I say that, because in December 2019, he passed at home, working on something for us, as always, and I had to do CPR on him. I could not save him, despite my own decades of experience as well. This sort of things changes you. So, now I do our dream, myself. I have an adult offspring who does not participate in these things, and like other parties her age, in a vague statement, this individual gets overwhelmed very easily. So when hurricanes come in, and they do, not only do I know I have to do everything myself, but I also have drama and dead weight or a drowning person, to address. So, I look to weather even sooner, just in case, to buy me more time. I love my animals, so letting nature take its course, and not protecting them, to me, is not an option I would choose…I would always try something. Anyway, what I have learned is just do it as if you were by yourself and if someone is willing to help and not cause a problem, count that as a blessing.
Plan and prepare for their needs as well, because their needs do not go away during a crisis. I once was a speaker for this topic, and they commented to me later, they could not believe I would say what I said, but that boldness stuck with them and changed their lives. They remember I said to practice now, during the sunny or better times, as if you did not have what you need. In doing so you will discover your weak points. I advised, in command roles, I was calm, and the more calm and slower I talked, they could determine the severity of the crisis, as it increased with my deliberate speech did. I told them, I am a bear if I cannot brush my teeth, and that it irritates me so to have something stuck in my teeth. So I always carry what I need. Knowing my coworkers and the other supervisors issues, I would also have those things, because I knew they would not. I told them, if you are calmer with chocolate, stock up on chocolate, if it is alcohol, then do such for that as well. They were shocked to hear me say this, but it is true. Have what you need, not as an escape, but to take one less thing off of your stress factor during a crisis. So for kids, crayons, paper, batteries, board games, books, whatever…you need people calm. I use to call it the ‘what if’ game…what would I do if _______ happened? Then you build mental muscle memory and you are more ready and resilient during crisis situations. Also, remember, the psychology of an individual during a crisis is freeze, fight or flight. At first, most freeze, so you say short, specific sentences and repeat them. Their brain cannot process any more than that at the time. Also, the average population will be compliant to instructions by authorities, whom they have been conditioned to believe will be there to help them, but only for the first 48 hours, afterwards, they will become increasingly agitated, complain, become restless, and then mob as a potential, which endangers others and yourself. I hope this helps.
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Great post Deb. Glad you are on our side.
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Thanks punkin’ me too.
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Thanks for your words Deb. I need the continued reminder to trust God, as I can do nothing without him. I must also remember that even when a helping set of hands does not show, I am not alone. So sorry for your loss. God Bless You.
Jackie
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Awwww, thank you. Yes, God is good for sure! Just saved my life again actually. I sure keep Him busy. 🙂 Yes, it is more difficult for sure to do things alone. I sometimes just get so frustrated, and I remind myself that this is my journey, and others have their own…and am happy when they meet at various points. I am alone, but not alone. I feel very content actually. It just makes things take longer, and I sure miss how much he did. Always appreciate the help and time of another, because one day you may not have it. At least that is what I have experienced. Big hugs my friend! What are you finding is more difficult?
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Wow, Deb! You are an amazing woman with great counsel! I take all said to heart! Thank you so much!! ❤
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Awww, thank you. You are so sweet. I am just me, and try to share what I have learned over the years. I have great friends and I learn so much from them. I hope my experiences help someone besides me. 🙂
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Omagosh you are awesome I’m sorry you’ve been through so much but you’ve rallied up to help others. I’ve lost a husband too and been through devastating hurricanes where we lost everything. It only made us stronger in fact I volunteered for Red Cross for awhile to help hurricane victims but you’ve taken it to an exemplary level. You’re amazing. 😆
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It is like lifting weights for our soul! I too have been through hurricanes and they are NOT fun! I am soooooo sorry for your loss and I put my arms around you my sister and give you a big sqeezing hug until you know you are loved, not alone and doing well! You are amazing my friend and when we go within and live from our heart knowing we are soul, the things in the world are only there to remove what is not of ourselves, like layers of an onion. The worse it gets out there, the brighter we shine by default. I simply know the darkness will become more dark and others will need light. Homesteading will help to provide that time that all need. Together amazing soul, we can blaze through these adversities. Thank you for being with me on this journey!! I appreciate you way more than you know! ❤
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You make me wanna cry. In a good way lol. Ever thought of writing an inspirational book? You have the gift. Maybe you already have. Idk . If not think about writing. 🥰
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Very good information Deb. My husband and I live about 45 minutes from the coast in Texas and yes we get hurricanes too where we are at. My husband is the the bear in prepping for the storms, we go through our supplies every year before hurricane season. Sometimes times we don’t them the extra supplie but when we do we’re very thankful that we have them.
Too bad there are so many people out there that are like the grasshopper in the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
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Thank you, oh so you know! Great job! Yeah, I agree, but I know they develop us, sort of like lifting weights to help us learn compassion and trust. At least that is what I remind myself. 🙂
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I have known Deb for many years. She is a great human being
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Awwww, thank you my friends! I could not have made it over the past several years without your love, support, guidance, and friendship…you are my rocks! I love you all soooooo much!
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My favorite is when I get the one person audience that likes to tell me what I am doing is inefficient and when I turn and say “well I’m all ears for suggestions as to making this more efficient” he just walks away. That is always super fun. Or when I need help with something like fixing the barn that the goats are determined to bring down on their heads I get a response of “I already fixed it once I’m not doing it again, that’s all you”. There is not enough prayer or patience sometimes.
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Whooo! Yeah, I’ve been there lol. Or the famous, “I’ll fix it today”……………… a year later………….😐. If I start to do it myself, he gets upset?! 🤦🏼♀️😂
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Wow, I am sorry, that truly does stretch our patience and love doesn’t it? I use to help him with tons of stuff, and my family so I learned alot, but that was as helper. There is a big difference. While if I put my mind to it, I could get it done in 100 plus heat, and really doing all other things, it takes a lot longer to do anything. I am motivated, but I have to do things smarter. Paying people may not be an option many times, so having excellent support and community with people willing to help on things is a Godsend for sure. And to those of you who do such, may I just say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
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Looks like you have lots of replies, so I doubt I can contribute anything new. But – YES! I can totally relate, in just about every single way. Except my hubby doesn’t like animals – they are messy, loud, and require upkeep. The house cat is about his limit on that front.
What’s a frustrated-homesteader to do? Well, I garden and preserve the food for the most part – no livestock at home (I have a horse boarded elsewhere). Mainly, I focus on the positives and try to incorporate his ideas as much as possible. He’s very much an “aesthetics first” who likes neat, predictable, and orderly while I’m very much an “organic growth!” chaos-loving function-over-form type. Compromise is the name of the game – which means I have treated timber beds because he thinks they look nice. I have garden beds at least, so I’ll take it. It also means I don’t go full permaculture in the orchard because he likes the neat and tidy look of mulch with trees and that’s it. I eye the front yard side beds wondering if I can sneak in some artichokes or rhubarb, since he said he doesn’t want food growing in the front yard. I also try to keep projects small, knowing that I’m the only who will do them. Even flipping compost piles. Keeping that in mind means I also always plan to do it myself which means keeping it manageable for my ability level. I also do not have any farm animals on site because I’m trying to get some traveling in while I
can. Asking him to do anything more than scoop the litter and feed the
cat would just make him resent things, and I want to avoid that. Now if I
could find a neighbor who could “board” a chicken or three for me….Essentially, we work together to make things at home as positive and supportive for each other as we can. That he recently turned to me and said “if something happened, how long could we go without external food?” … Oh man! That was such an exciting conversation for me. LOL. And now my garden is doubling in size because he’s beginning to see the value. Whoot!
Anyway, you are not alone by a long shot. Best of luck!
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Oh My Goodness lol! I giggled through your story… because oh – yes – ma’am! When I spoke of my being the mean overlord… yeah. Right there with ya! 3 indoor kittens that were got with the intention of them being barn cats for rodent control… Yeah, he REFUSES to touch the litter box but doesn’t want me to put the babies outside …(something could happen to them out there!). I’m going crazy screaming through all of the kitty names to get to the right one – water bottle in hand, ready to dish out another spritz of water if they don’t stop jumping on the tv or if they drag my glasses off of my computer one. more. time!!
As for the outside, we have 11 acres. I have to make do with only 3 acres for livestock. He wants nothing in the front or the back or the sides… only in my designated area. He wants things tidy but won’t help keep them tidy.
I’m so glad that yours is starting to come around a little!! How exciting! It gives me hope!! Thank you and good luck to you dear!
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A little note here. Cats don’t like double sided sticky tape. Place it strategically where you don’t want them to be. Not only will they learn not to go there but they’ll also tell on themselves when they fly by you at 80 miles an hour trying to get the tape off their paw 😆. We have four indoor cats and there’s a reason they don’t do counter tops lol.
If that’s not your style though they typically don’t like surfaces covered in foil so you may want to try that instead.
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That’s absolutely hilarious!🤣 I’ll try that..if for nothing else other than entertainment!
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OH my goodness…I needed that! Thank you! 🤣
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My family says I am cruel, but the tape works and teaches them to stay away from certain areas….and it is hilarious.
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oh yes I would love to have some chickens, been working on hubby since 2019, he just doesn’t have the heart to kill an animal we care for, and he knows me, if I buy them for food they are going to be food, I have no problem understanding thats part of raising animals. Am working on getting everything for a chicken coop and run in the mean time, I store stuff in my wish shed, that way when I catch him off guard and he saids ok, I’ll start the coop before he can change his mind. lol
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The wish shed is an excellent idea! I simply walked in one day with 2 doz hatching eggs and an incubator! Built in need for a coop! 🤭
However, even though I have threatened bad behavior with freezer camp, the trouble makers just get sold. I had gotten 40 black austrolorp chicks for the purpose of meat and some for layers for hatching eggs but I kept putting off the harvesting and the 13 boy’s hormones started going crazy and it seemed like over night, I was scrambling to find someone to show me how to process a chicken or do it for me the first time. Well, couldn’t find anyone and I just sold 8 out of that bunch. (FAIL!)
Ahh… live and learn lol. I hope you get your chickens soon! I love having chickens!
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I’ve always been told to have everything you need ready before you get an animal, so yeah eventually he will see how much I’ve got stocked up in the shed that it will be time to build it just to make more room in the wish shed. Still haven’t gotten my chicken plucker yet so he has a little more time before a wild chicken just comes up in the yard lol, we do have wild turkeys in the area.
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lol… those wondering wild chickens I’m sure are just looking for a good home. 😉 The way you are getting everything ready is the smartest way to do it. I had the incubation time and the brooder time to get things in place. Their brooder was in our garage. It worked out fine. 😎
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I love my husband, but I wish we could work more together as a team. He does not like gardening, take care of the animals and sure not butchering.
So I do all that work alone, it is what it is.
Used to be the crazy chicken lady, but I will do all I can and prepare.
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Yep, I’m right there with ya!
Mine will build or help build the infrastructure that I need for the critters though. Maybe find an aspect of the whole thing that he would feel useful and that he would enjoy?
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It’s crazy how many women are doing this alone. I love the hubby too. But, he doesn’t help with gardening…except he digs holes for me on occasion if I need it. That’s about it. He’s the same way with “preparing”…leaves it all to me. I feel ya. Just keep on keepin on. I tell myself…God is watching!
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That’s right HE is watching! 🧐 Make HIM proud of YOU and GOD will help your hubby in a way that gets his attention. 😊
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I read this today and would like to share because it seems that there are LOTS of noble women here!
Proverbs 31:10-31
The Virtues of a Noble Woman
10 A wife of noble character, who can find?
She is far more precious than rubies.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good and not harm
13 She selects wool and flax
14 She is like the merchant ships,
15 She rises while it is still night
to provide food for her household
and portions for her maidservants.
16 She appraises a field and buys it;
from her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength
and shows that her arms are strong.
18 She sees that her gain is good,
and her lamp is not extinguished at night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household,
for they are all clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known at the city gate,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband praises her as well:
29 “Many daughters have done noble things,
30 Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her at the gates.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Pintsize_Treasures.
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❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Love this! Thank you for your encouragement!
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I’m so glad it uplifted you! ❤
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Love this punkin’!!! You are an awesome soul for sure!!!! So happy you are with us on this journey!!!!
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Aww! Thanks Deb! I’m so thankful for this platform! I love it here!! ❤
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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@Pintsize_Treasures Thank you for posting that!! God bless you!
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My pleasure! I needed to remind myself so was very happy to share! God bless you as well!!
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Thank you for sharing, it was nice to read.
Yes it sure is crazy, but for “some” people also man and husband the world is just fine and life is good. Sticking your head in the sand and hiding it out, is a lot easier than grabbing the bull at the horns a give a hack off a fight. Why work and prepare, if they come for the rescue.
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I agree! Sticking your head in the sand is SO much easier!! However, one day they may look around and find that all of their freedoms are GONE! Oh, I could stop and preach right here for a min. but I’ll leave that for another topic! Keep your head up!😉
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@Pintsize_Treasures – You posted one of my all-time favorite Bible passages! Know what’s funny? I just read this (again) to my husband and he got up pretty soon thereafter and got to work on my pantry/mudroom that has been unfinished for almost a year. Sometimes we ladies just need to give subtle little nudges to remind our men of our worth. And in the end, he will be well rewarded! I’m planning his favorite meal for supper and will let him know often how proud I am for him doing all he does. He’s 74 years old but has such a wealth of knowledge in so many fields that my heart breaks a little every time I think of our aging bodies slowing us down. God bless you for posting this!
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Aww! What a precious relationship y’all have! Reading that just made my heart smile! I love it! Maybe I’ll read that passage again, (one of my favorites as well), but this time out loud to see if I get a similar response! ❤❤
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My hubs is somewhat on board. But not fully. He still does not see the full picture of what is coming. He works at that big box store and seems to think it’s all going to be fine. We have chickens and he loves them but not ready to dive into larger animals. I get it.
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Since he’s not down with larger animals for whatever reason, if it became necessary, you could always swap a couple of chickens for some cow or pig meat.
My hubbs refuses on having pigs so that’s what I plan to do for bacon if it comes down to it. 😉
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[I have no idea why the big green [Reply] button appears to ‘Reply’ to whomever is the top commenter on any given page of the Discussion vs the Original Poster (OP). TagNBee on page one and Deb on page two for example. It shouldn’t be this difficult to Reply to the OP, but hopefully @Pintsize_Treasures (the OP) will see this.]
(Sorry for lengthy rambling less than coherent post)
Anyway… Wow & Wow. Let me precede my two surprises with some TMI – I was a late in my parent’s lives baby (Mom was 42 and Dad was 51 when I was born in ’70) and I was emancipated at 15. They lived through the Great Depression and always had a walk in pantry with dry goods and canned food. They were very much the ‘Bunkers’; Archie and Edith. I say that in an attempt to hopefully show where I am coming from with the following comments. I whole heartedly admit I have not kept up with the times, but I am working on it.
I started reading this thread with some hope on how to get my wife more onboard with ‘steading. She is verbally supportive and piddles with planting. What I mean is, she listens and allows me to buy things for the ‘stead but her herself doesn’t go much past a couple plants in buckets. It may be guilt for making me move back to the gawd awful heat and bug infested Louisiana South. She even confirms my concerns I have that drive my desire; increase cost of food, ‘just in time’ supply chain, inflation, job security, etc, etc, etc. She even agreed to buying half a cow. She just throws out comments here and there that make me wonder. “Oh I’m not eating ‘yard eggs’, I might bake with them though.”, “Lamb, nope, not gonna eat that so why raise it?”, “I don’t want to slaughter anything, can’t do it.”, “Pigs are gross.” She self identifies as bougie. (Her word, not mine)
I am not a native ‘steader. I am, due to the previously mentioned concerns, pressed forward… maybe ‘Called’, to do this for many reasons, but the main one is the realization that no one, and I mean no one or organization, has my best interests at heart. As my Mom used to say, “The best person to take care of you, is you.” My Father always said, “I won’t live to see it Son, but you will, the downfall of this great nation.” Never used to believe him… but…. So yeah, right or wrong, that is where I am coming from.
Wow Number One, and please don’t take these wrong and consider my raising, but firstly I am surprised at the number of self sufficient ladies commenting on this topic, or ones that want to be, and I salute you! I have always wanted to be self sufficient, or probably more correctly – less dependent. It is just now that we have bought a small piece of land that I can execute. Too that end, I started trying to educate myself, mostly via YouTube. Most of the channels seem to be men, and a large portion – like myself, have military background / history. If their wives are involved they are much more… ‘off screen’. Heck, a couple of the men discuss divorces over their spouse being unsupportive of the lifestyle. So yeah, pleasantly surprised that the ladies are here representing, though I sympathize with you also. This was a heart warming ‘Wow’ moment.
Wow Number Two, and this is probably a bit more controversial or non-PC, though I don’t mean it to be, and dovetails into WNO. Though I sympathize with you, I don’t have any pearls of wisdom to help. I’m honestly just flabbergasted the number of men that don’t, or half heartedly support you ladies. I’ve always had the apparent ‘Toxic Masculine” trait of being the ‘provider’. Don’t get me wrong, my wife is a provider too, we just have different provider roles currently that work for us, and is definitely not appropriate or feasible for all. I provide ‘the bacon’, she provides us with all the other necessities associated with that bacon. Whether ‘the bacon’ is money or actual bacon. Maybe I am digressing a bit here and should move on. But it has lead me to the following, that might be helpful? I don’t know, I might just be alienating folks instead.
It is a great topic for introspective though. I think, as I consider the dilemma and apparent primary people this seems to be affecting, that men – at least in my experience – want to be providers. We, societally, have become accustom or conditioned to that meaning money. Yes, women work and provide money, not what I am implying. Maybe I am just doing a thought experiment based on my outdated male ideology. Anyway, how would I work on convincing myself to ‘stead if I wasn’t already a convert..? For me it would have to be logically and financial justification. I’d want to see how much has groceries gone up in the past year and a half (I don’t shop but when I do I don’t bargain shop for sure – I know bad me), focusing on staples that we could cover on a ‘stead. Based on that list, what was in short supply during the ‘pandemic’? My wife handles the bills; I’d need to know what percentage of our combined income goes to 1) things we can replace with ‘steading? 2) what amount do we have to generate to pay mandatory bills, and 3) what percentage do we waist on ‘comfort’ items? I think, hopefully, you would find you don’t have to make as much physical money as we are taught we need to. Something I learned living full time in an RV for three years. It surprised me just how much more happy we were actually. Basically I’d need a discussion, containing examples and logical references (if I didn’t already get it) as to why the conditioned response to problems is more money thrown at it, might not be viable for long. “I appreciate that you work 8-12 hrs/day providing money for us, but with current events; ‘pandemic’, inflation, etc. is money sustainable? I think we might be able to live, and live better, with maybe a part time job and X, Y, Y, and here’s why <throw out the numbers>, and this is why I am trying to get us there. It’s not a ‘hobby’ I am trying to help provide too for what I feel is an eventuality.” I’ve found, for the most part (don’t take this wrong – just trying to put out my sincere thoughts for discussion) that women are emotional thinkers. Are you gardening because of passion? Are you wanting chickens because you’re scared from shortages recently? Concern of food prices you’ve seen that maybe they don’t grasp? Etc. Men tend to be logical thinkers. Show us dumb dumbs how it logically and financially makes sense to invest in ‘steading. If my sole motivator was ‘look just how much more healthy this food is’, I’d probably wouldn’t be as interested as I currently am in this honestly. If he is political, then their is a whole slue of justification IMHO. I won’t go down that road now, but my favorite response to people who ask why I am interested in this, is “To be like Bill Gates! He knows something if he, as a ‘tech mogul’, is buying up farm land by the hundreds of thousands of acres.”
Ok, deep breath, I am ready for civil discourse tearing my thoughts apart. Let me have it….
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On mobile, just click on the comment you want to reply too and this small menu appears in the top right corner. It allows you to reply to any comment you want.
On your desktop/laptop, just hover your mouse over the comment you want to reply too for the same result.
Hope this helps!
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I do not get the Reply back arrow on PC for the OP in the discussion, I do for all subsequent comments however.
Have requested ‘Connection’ for further discussion, so as not to derail this one.
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Wow! Ok, get settled in with a nice cup of coffee for this reply! I won’t “let you have it” but first let me thank you for your well thought out post! I would like to respond to things in the order it was written. Why you started reading this thread… My parents had a garden when me and my sister were young and my memories of it are filled with having to pull weeds when all I really wanted to do was go play at the neighbor’s house. I hated it back then and certainly wanted nothing to do with it – up until about 4 years ago.
I have an autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia, two different kinds of arthritis, degenerative disk disease, and three markers for lupus, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, and insomnia. It was bad BUT it certainly got WORSE when Hubby convinced me to get the flu shot 2 years in a row. That shot made me bed-bound for about 5 years. I could barely walk across the room. I cried everyday and prayed until I fell asleep asking God to just go ahead and take me. I was miserable and the pain was unbearable!
During this time all I had was time to watch videos of cures, herbs, treatments and watched videos of the life I wished I had. The videos of the herbs got me into watching gardening videos and it didn’t quite seem as bad as memories from my childhood and if I wanted to try and fix some of the problems that I had, I was gonna need to do it myself and to do it myself, I needed a place to do it (and so why not have the animals too). So that was the actual benchmark for going out and trying to find land. For my health, I needed to take it back to all natural… no chemicals or additives.
SO… I found what I needed to PUSH myself, despite of my awful health, to get the ball rolling for what I felt would be certain self-healing.
The animals – Before 2 years ago, I had never eaten a backyard chicken egg or a duck egg for that matter but man, I had been missing out! They taste so much better than store pasteurized eggs. Plus I know exactly what they eat and how they are cared for. I don’t have cows, or my goats yet (working on that now), but I’m lactose intolerant – therefore, drinking goat milk or Jersey cow milk is the best option for me. I’ve never even tasted goat milk BUT goats are adorable and I’m willing to do the best thing for my health!
Now, fast forward 2 years, my doctor is ASTONISHED at the improvement of my health to the point that now he and his wife have bought land, are building a house currently and plan to run a little farm all because I told him my secret to health and longevity!! – Homesteading!
As for eating the animals, well, I figure that if it came right down to it, I would have them slaughtered for a cost… and if it got REALLY bad and I got REALLY hungry… I could find it in me to do it myself (plus, I hear that goat meat tastes good).
See, for me it’s not about the grocery bill YET. Case in point: I was all pumped to do the chicken tractor on steroids (from Billy Bond @PermaPasturesFarm) for meat birds, then when that time came, I put it off and put it off until the 13 roosters terrorized my hens to the point where they couldn’t even eat… and EVEN THEN, I still couldn’t cull them (I sold them – for a loss)!! HUGE FAIL on my part but I can’t even watch a processing video yet. Lol. I’m content selling the extra eggs from them though.
Your Mom and Dad gave you some pearls of wisdom! Being less dependent and self-reliant has always been a huge desire of mine! I think I’m just an “old soul” and prefer to live that way. I agree that most channels on YouTube with ‘steading are men. I have plans to start a channel and hopefully it will encourage the female audience. I’m a little on the shy side so I’ll have to really gut-up to get started making that first video!
Men are supposed to be the providers and protectors and you’re right, whether that is with the money to pay the bills or physically slapping down meat on the table, that’s the role that God has for y’all. Women were designed by God as the weaker vessel. I think that’s where a lot of my grumbling comes in. I can’t physically do the things a man can. My heart is willing and wants to but it hurts.. (I won’t say my pride or ego) but it hurts my feelings that I can’t when I really want to. When a man that has the physical ability to easily do those things, sees me struggle and chooses not to help, well then, that just takes those emotions, you spoke of, to a whole new level! Men should be men! I DO understand your formula of justification and think that should be employed with anything a husband and wife undertake.
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“Wow” number three. Truly sorry to hear about the medical issues, but also glad you may have found some relief, and even more importantly in my opinion – found the desire, motivation, and internal strength to do something about it. In a world where so many expect others to do for them, I commend you. For whatever that might be worth.
I too have medical issues. Mostly thanks to my military service. I don’t mention it for any other reason than to say I may not be as bad off as some, or worse than others. Maybe that is what appeals to me about people with these similar interests? Just not the type to sit back and say, ‘This is my lot in life’? I do hope that this community grows to the point where we know each other as neighbors once did, and someone will step up and say, ‘I know Pintsize_Treasures has difficulty butchering her chickens, I am gonna go see if they need help with it,’ and maybe you reciprocate with a couple roosters.
I hope it is through conversations like this that someday we evolve into such an online community. Via the sharing of things that possibly expose us, or that are even hurtful to share. Things that make us more than just a ‘handle’ / ‘nic’ / whatever, on some site with layers of anonymity. I realize that is tough though. It’s a damn strange world that we have devolved into. I hope we find that fine line between privacy and neighbors. To where you might one day be trading goods for the goats milk, at least until you get your own.
Yeah, my Mom & Dad were full of anecdotal wisdom. I was just too rebellious to appreciate it at the time. There were just too many generational gaps. When I was upstairs blaring AC/DC, Dad was downstairs listening to the ‘Lawrence Welk Show’. Hence why I was ‘encouraged’ to get out and, “See if I had all the answers to life’s quests, like I thought I did.’ Spoiler; I didn’t.
If you kick off a YouTube, let me know. I’ll be your first sub. Glad I was apparently able to convey my thoughts without being an -ist, or at least not called one yet. Men might be physically stronger, but women are definitely mentally stronger. Keep that PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and I have no doubt, limitations be damned, you will get it done. Turn those problems into solutions neighbor.
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Thank you so much for the commendation and I reciprocate it back to you! I truly admire people that despite of medical hardships, they keep on keepin’ on!!
Aren’t you just stuffed full of great ideas!! I would like to see all of the things you mentioned come to pass! We’re certainly not living in the days of being able to leave your doors unlocked but I agree, if we could find that fine line… it would be perfect! I’ve tried to find a butcher for chickens and people have told me that it was illegal in TN?? When I heard that, I thought, boy have I gotten myself into a pickle or what?! 😂
How cool is that?! I have a first sub and haven’t started yet!! Whooo Hooo!! 🤩Thanks friend!! Every encouraging post I read keeps me fueled and keeps me busting it out when I don’t feel like it. THANK YOU to YOU and to EVERYONE!!
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Well, thank you.
I am not a lawyer, but as soon as you said you were told it was illegal – I had to engage “The Google”. To my simple mind and comprehension, it appears that Tennessee is actually quite lenient on poultry processing, comparatively.
I realize this doesn’t really pertain to you, as you aren’t prepared to do it yourself, but if this is how I read it then it wouldn’t be illegal to have someone else process your birds on the ‘stead:
Seems there is an exemption qualifier. Again, not a lawyer, but might be worth digging into. I am really starting to wonder if all these laws / regulations aren’t under the guise of public health and safety and more for the control of preventing people from not being dependent slugs… nope, not going to rant, especially politically…. not gonna do it, can’t make me do it…. well maybe you can. LOL
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Wow! I’ve just been catching up on all the posts. I’m am NOT alone! Maybe someday I will feel comfortable to share my own journey. I just wanted to address something another person suggested and see what kind of response I might get. Pint size you mentioned not being able to process your roosters. Personally I’ve never done it either but have watched videos on how. Someone else mentioned an idea of a mobile chicken butcher. Where you could perhaps travel and do it on site. My husband used to be a meat cutter by trade and I only helped with the after the skinning process. I could never physically do this with a large animal but wondering if there is a need out there for smaller scale butchering and would it be profitable (bartering included). Maybe I just discovered a useful trade I could use on my own small homestead. I’m not sure of the legalities. I know my daughter pays top dollar for such items at a farmer’s market.
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Great minds and all that! I was just discussing with a butcher friend of mine the legalities and equipment requirements to start a mobile butcher. I’d like to look into it a lot further especially now having heard about “Custom Exempt” processing, like the place he currently works. This was an offshoot to my discussion with him about how to legally sell meat in general. The laws and regulations are so wonky in my opinion though. Like there is some gray areas about heard sharing, where investor owns the animal and pays you for care and facilities, then you can either provide a ‘butcher class’ for the owner… I mean I get the need to ensure safety and hygienics, but I would trust a homesteader where I could be there for the butchering vs some big autonomist slaughter house.
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If y’all get this going and will travel to TN, I’ll be a very happy customer!! You’re right, I would trust another homesteader before a big butcher!!
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Right now just wading through the quagmire of Louisiana Rules, Regulations, and Laws. But, one day, one way….
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That’s such a great idea!! I had heard of them, forgot where, but I tried to find mobile butchers or even regular butchers to do chickens with no luck!! I live in Northeast TN and like I just told @BigJohn I was told it was illegal in TN?? Who knows! The regular butchers won’t do anything smaller than a goat. Please keep me updated on what you find out!
And no ma’am! …you are NOT alone! 😉
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Wow! See woman! I knew in my heart you are very special…keep that heart shining bright!!!
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Aww! Thanks again Deb! ❤
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Amen Deb! None of us know when our spouses may no longer be here. My husband & I try to teach each other things, but, in reality, there are things we are both limited to do. Thus, the importance of being part of a community. What I can’t do, others can. We are in this life together!
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I can amen there! I get frustrated and sometimes down right irate but no one knows how much time we have with each other on this earth. ❤
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To be honest I personally try not to judge at all, because that is not up to me and I am glad abou That.
I just do everything Possible and let my husband and so all others be themselves and let them do there things.
After reading al your stories, I pray that we will be able to help each other. Freesteading is a good way to get and stay in contact.
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Absolutely! I sure am happy that TagandBee started Freesteading! I feel so at home on this platform with all of you wonderful folks!!
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Thank you for the kind words. Truth is over 4000 people have been involved in building our community. Hundreds have replied to a post asking for help. Most people probably don’t know this but you guys are building the site everyday. The site has changed so much in its first 2 weeks of life. I won’t hijack this thread but thank you.
TAG
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