[Dravon-Redsong]

Looks like you have lots of replies, so I doubt I can contribute anything new. But – YES! I can totally relate, in just about every single way. Except my hubby doesn’t like animals – they are messy, loud, and require upkeep. The house cat is about his limit on that front.

What’s a frustrated-homesteader to do? Well, I garden and preserve the food for the most part – no livestock at home (I have a horse boarded elsewhere). Mainly, I focus on the positives and try to incorporate his ideas as much as possible. He’s very much an “aesthetics first” who likes neat, predictable, and orderly while I’m very much an “organic growth!” chaos-loving function-over-form type. Compromise is the name of the game – which means I have treated timber beds because he thinks they look nice. I have garden beds at least, so I’ll take it. It also means I don’t go full permaculture in the orchard because he likes the neat and tidy look of mulch with trees and that’s it. I eye the front yard side beds wondering if I can sneak in some artichokes or rhubarb, since he said he doesn’t want food growing in the front yard. I also try to keep projects small, knowing that I’m the only who will do them. Even flipping compost piles. Keeping that in mind means I also always plan to do it myself which means keeping it manageable for my ability level. I also do not have any farm animals on site because I’m trying to get some traveling in while I
can. Asking him to do anything more than scoop the litter and feed the
cat would just make him resent things, and I want to avoid that. Now if I
could find a neighbor who could “board” a chicken or three for me….

Essentially, we work together to make things at home as positive and supportive for each other as we can. That he recently turned to me and said “if something happened, how long could we go without external food?” … Oh man! That was such an exciting conversation for me. LOL. And now my garden is doubling in size because he’s beginning to see the value. Whoot!

Anyway, you are not alone by a long shot. Best of luck!

[Dravon-Redsong]

I totally relate to everything you’ve said – except my husband also does not animals. Or anything “untidy”. I give him major props for being supportive of my gardening even though he thinks it’s an eyesore most of the time (except high summer). But we work with it. He used to say that about buying food versus preserving it as well. But I realized it’s NOT about the cost. It’s about knowing what’s in it. When I switched the approach, he could understand my point. Especially when he began to taste the difference in foods!

That’s been my biggest life-saver – listen to him. Hear what he’s saying, and either figure out how to work with it or change the perspective. He might still think I’m being silly for canning corn (or whatever) but he understands why I’m doing it, and it’s not about the cost. Because there’s no way I could ever preserve food and compete cost-wise against scaled production.

I feel you on this one. Thanks for asking it! You’ve gotten a lot of great suggestions I’ll be using myself. 🙂