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Prayer Request
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Prayer Request
Please forgive me if this is too long, yet as a mom, the struggle is real.
As some of you know, we have had to deal with a reverse mortgage situation, since David’s dad passed in Oct. We finally received authorization to sell the house through probate. Unfortunately, our daughter was living there with her two sons (2 yr old and 6 yr old who has autism, ADHD and anxiety. Her husband left her 2 months after the youngest was born. At first he would call every month or so to talk with his 6 yr old (then 4 yr old). He no longer reaches out. Yet, he never gives our daughter a dime for meeting the needs of her boys.
<font face=”inherit”>NOTE: In NH this is allowed, more so when the wife/mom does not have the financial resources to pay for a lawyer to get things going. Yet, my daughter has to change her schedule on a dime for him if he does ask to see them. In addition, he wiped her out of their joint savings/checking as well as took all the stimulus $$ for the boys </font>until<font face=”inherit”> my daughter was able to get the IRS to redirect it. </font>
With the house up for sale, there are two issues: David and I have been over there a number of times, cleaning out. Purchased a dumpster which will be picked up tomorrow, loaded. Yet, there is more to get rid of. Now we have some very heavy items that we can’t lift, such as a treadmill, 2 wood stoves, and a variety of other items. We were going to keep one for our future home once this was all settled, put our current home up, and move. We planned to move for more space, peace and quiet as our neighborhood has increasingly gotten louder which triggers my Lyme symptoms, along with “interesting” neighbors, but also to create a self-sustaining homestead. We are literally beat!! We go to bed tired and in pain, yet we continue on.
The 2nd issues, is that our daughter, who she herself has anxiety & depression. We saw this when she was a young girl, yet to bring anything up, I am constantly being yelled at. I get “in trouble” if I walk away, if I yell back, or even make reasonable suggestions, all the while to where I am in tears because she is stressed beyond measure while my love for her can’t continue to take this type of emotional abuse.
There is so much to take in. Her stress levels are such, because she needs a home, preferably not an apartment, because the 6 yr old gets mad quickly due to his method of processing. Any change in his schedule seems to trigger outbursts with her concern that someone will call child safety. Those who do not understand autism, will automatically assume the worse of her. It is the way our society is.
She has reached out to every organization to no avail. I did some calling, and it is true, there is nothing for her. She has been looking for work (has a BS in photography and business) yet with her need to have a schedule that meets her needs to be there for drop-off/pick-up as well as the youngest has proven quite difficult. She can get childcare for the youngest, yet no one will take on the 6 yr old due to his behavioral issues. He is actually a very sweet boy, but it takes him time to process 1 question, and if you ask him more than one, it confuses him as he is working on the first question. Even her church will not help her.
She is trying hard to find a job (got let go for an envelop stuffing job, that you go pick up the material and return within 2 days, because she was “under-qualified”. She has an Etsy shop, and helps another women with childcare a few days a week yet it is no efficient for affordable housing, and the wait list is 2 yrs. at best. She is afraid of losing everything, yet the only debt she has is her vehicle which she often shares will be her home soon. And tonight, told us the youngest is having some minor surgery 3 days after the potential closing date. How do you care for a child post-operatively in a car seat.
To top this all off, as we dropped off items for donation, since we were there far longer at the house cleaning this up, I asked if they would like pizza. As she was making the turn into the drive, this electric bike came right at us (passenger side where both myself and the 2 yr old were sitting). The kid fell hard, yet there is some serious damage to her van. She didn’t want to, but I told her that she needed to call the police. Here in NH they do not determine “at fault” and leave that for the insurance. As we were leaving, I looked back and saw the police officer handcuffing the young man. The individual driving was very pleasant, concerned for the huge dent in the van, yet stressing himself. Everyone was calm, yet now our daughter has one more thing on her plate to deal with..
Okay, prayer requests:
1. Housing opens up so that she has a home that is safe. Her goal is to find a trailer, due to the 6 yr olds needs. I don’t think the housing will cover a trailer not on a park lot with HOA fees. So a home is essential, one in which the state will help pay.
2 That the insurance gives her hope about her van that now needs repair, with a $250 deductible
3. That our daughter gets a job that provides resources, mother’s hours and the ability to get a home.
4. That provides a lawyer who does pro-bono to get things in motion for her to obtain childcare.
5. David and I need help to get the heavy items removed. We’ve used the last of our resources, and would appreciate someone desiring to purchase the items that can be sold, yet also need rugged me to help Clean-out. We can’t sell the house with stuff in it. We need prayer this gets resolved.
6. We can figure out what went wrong w/my old computer that simply stopped working. It is where the log of time and expenses are recorded. We are not computer wizards.
Since David’s dad has passed, it has been one thing after another, as I try to keep up with what David needs me to do. I stepped back from being involved to avoid conflict, yet it made things worse.
While I maintain my sense of calm and joy, my heart is breaking. God knows, God see’s, God understands. I have to step back and let God do what He does best for His children, yet I have to reflect myself on where I might have gone wrong and how I might be better to handle this.
“You have nothing, because you ask nothing” So, I’m asking for your support in the request for prayers.
James, chapter 4, very powerful as a resource to reflect on
Thank you,
Laura
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11 Replies
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Yes, God sees. Yes, he knows. If you are going to sell the house. Give a credit to have buyer to have them remove all the crap. If you and your husband are buying a new house. I suggest you look for one with a detached garage you can convert into a tiny home for your daughter and her 2 sons.
Clue, if your daughter has a disabled child that needs full time care, she needs to apply to Social Security for his disability. She also needs to file for a care giver stipend, they may call it something else. A dented van is still drivable. Take the insurance money, donāt fix the dent. Look on line for how to pop the dent out with a board. Use the insurance money to transform the detached garage into a liveable space. If your daughter has a roof over her head, she will feel much better about her life, stress will be removed from everyone. It will have a major impact on the 6 year old.
What do you think? I think God will make a way. If your daughter finds a social security attorney to file all the paperwork he will only take 12% of any back pay when awarded. It is time consuming and I think more than your daughter can take on. The lawyer can get all the medical records needed to file for her sons disability. Ask that lawyer for a pro bono attorney to get that deadbeat dad paying child support. All this can be worked out. Patience, faith, and tons of love. Prayers going upā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø
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This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by Hen.aka.One-Lil-Red-Hen.
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Very positive insight. Thank you. She has filed for SSD for her son, yet I also reached out to an attorney which I am waiting to hear back. He not only left them hanging and with no resources, he has basically abandoned them.
I’ve tried talking, but her emotions are so far off, it is so hard.
We have talked to her about our desire to move, more so to be closer to David’s job, but it would be in the school district that her son gets the special needs work. She wants to homeschool her, but she also needs help (which she can legally get here in NH when homeschooling).
This all started back in Oct. Her sisters are doing what I believe I trained them to do. Support one another, b/c as we age you will need each other. Yet, against your parents who would do anything? They are all seeking counseling, which I hope helps over time.
How I move forward is letting go, and this particular situation it is very difficult, but I have to. The lessons we learn in life build us up, teach us about ourselves and the direction in which God is leading us.
Thank you.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by
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May God supply you with all your needs ..IN THE NAME OF JESUS ..AMEN … GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILYš
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š
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Thank you so much for your prayers.
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Problems truly multiply when dealing with people with anxiety and depression and having to take their emotional abuse, I know, Iāve been there, especially when this certain someone is not taking any medication for it. Maybe thereās a chance your daughter will consider doing something to help stabilize her moods so that a better communication can be established, even if it is on a natural basis.
Hen has some really good advice to look into.
Iāll pray for your strength and that your needs be meet and everything to fall in place. š
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š Thank you. I’m sure things will fall into place, as time moves on. It’s just been one thing after another for her, yet with our attempts to help, we get attacked and blamed.<div>I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Thank you.</div>
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There are those quick to provide ‘answers’ and suggestions. Please don’t get me wrong, those are needed in timeand I hope they are giving with God’s lead. But the one thing you asked for above all is prayer.
Father, I lift Laura up to You. You alone know the future and are the Answer to our problems. I ask that You provide her strength and wisdom. Give peace to her husband and daughter. Show them You are in control. Ease the minds of the young ones involved in these changes. Help the all to understand You are still in control. I know from experience that You sometimes allow us to see all the problems with no solutions in order for us to fall on You even more. In Your time lift this family from the rubble that they see. Laura has finally asked And we reach out with her, in the strong name of Jesus, Amen.
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AMEN!! Thank you so much. God knows, He sees and He will deliver
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WOW sister! You have a lot going on.
First, Iām praying that YOU find peace which can be found in trusting in the Lord.
Second, Iām praying the same for your husband and daughters, all of them because I know how at anytime family is affected by family.
You didnāt ask for advice so I wonāt give any. However, I wanted to recommend that you post on FB Marketplace those big items that are difficult to move. Terminator is a perfect example of how people will come and pick up unwanted items that they can put to use and who knows, you might make a little money in the process.
Sending love and prayers.
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Thank you for those kind words.
I spoke w/David this evening during his stress is causing him not to have the ability to eat. Then we were both crying.
I did sell a few items on FB market place, but we still have a few more items. The heavy ones that we have to have removed (need manpower) for the treadmill, possibly a wood stove or two. We wanted one, which we might still keep for our future homestead. I just posted on my personal page for an item, which I will add here. Then, I’ll post on FB yard sale, etc.
We were in such a rush, as we had the week to fill the 1 yard dumpster, and I reached out to his sister who did show up, but she and her husband left early, so David and I were out until 7:30 throwing in heavy reclining chairs, etc. We were both in serious pain, but God is with us.
Other than that, I’m doing really good. LOL Calm as a cucumber. David and I are praying more frequently together each day.
God is good!! We might be tired and emotional, but we trust in the power of our Lord.
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