Please forgive me if this is too long, yet as a mom, the struggle is real.
As some of you know, we have had to deal with a reverse mortgage situation, since David’s dad passed in Oct. We finally received authorization to sell the house through probate. Unfortunately, our daughter was living there with her two sons (2 yr old and 6 yr old who has autism, ADHD and anxiety. Her husband left her 2 months after the youngest was born. At first he would call every month or so to talk with his 6 yr old (then 4 yr old). He no longer reaches out. Yet, he never gives our daughter a dime for meeting the needs of her boys.
<font face=”inherit”>NOTE: In NH this is allowed, more so when the wife/mom does not have the financial resources to pay for a lawyer to get things going. Yet, my daughter has to change her schedule on a dime for him if he does ask to see them. In addition, he wiped her out of their joint savings/checking as well as took all the stimulus $$ for the boys </font>until<font face=”inherit”> my daughter was able to get the IRS to redirect it. </font>
With the house up for sale, there are two issues: David and I have been over there a number of times, cleaning out. Purchased a dumpster which will be picked up tomorrow, loaded. Yet, there is more to get rid of. Now we have some very heavy items that we can’t lift, such as a treadmill, 2 wood stoves, and a variety of other items. We were going to keep one for our future home once this was all settled, put our current home up, and move. We planned to move for more space, peace and quiet as our neighborhood has increasingly gotten louder which triggers my Lyme symptoms, along with “interesting” neighbors, but also to create a self-sustaining homestead. We are literally beat!! We go to bed tired and in pain, yet we continue on.
The 2nd issues, is that our daughter, who she herself has anxiety & depression. We saw this when she was a young girl, yet to bring anything up, I am constantly being yelled at. I get “in trouble” if I walk away, if I yell back, or even make reasonable suggestions, all the while to where I am in tears because she is stressed beyond measure while my love for her can’t continue to take this type of emotional abuse.
There is so much to take in. Her stress levels are such, because she needs a home, preferably not an apartment, because the 6 yr old gets mad quickly due to his method of processing. Any change in his schedule seems to trigger outbursts with her concern that someone will call child safety. Those who do not understand autism, will automatically assume the worse of her. It is the way our society is.
She has reached out to every organization to no avail. I did some calling, and it is true, there is nothing for her. She has been looking for work (has a BS in photography and business) yet with her need to have a schedule that meets her needs to be there for drop-off/pick-up as well as the youngest has proven quite difficult. She can get childcare for the youngest, yet no one will take on the 6 yr old due to his behavioral issues. He is actually a very sweet boy, but it takes him time to process 1 question, and if you ask him more than one, it confuses him as he is working on the first question. Even her church will not help her.
She is trying hard to find a job (got let go for an envelop stuffing job, that you go pick up the material and return within 2 days, because she was “under-qualified”. She has an Etsy shop, and helps another women with childcare a few days a week yet it is no efficient for affordable housing, and the wait list is 2 yrs. at best. She is afraid of losing everything, yet the only debt she has is her vehicle which she often shares will be her home soon. And tonight, told us the youngest is having some minor surgery 3 days after the potential closing date. How do you care for a child post-operatively in a car seat.
To top this all off, as we dropped off items for donation, since we were there far longer at the house cleaning this up, I asked if they would like pizza. As she was making the turn into the drive, this electric bike came right at us (passenger side where both myself and the 2 yr old were sitting). The kid fell hard, yet there is some serious damage to her van. She didn’t want to, but I told her that she needed to call the police. Here in NH they do not determine “at fault” and leave that for the insurance. As we were leaving, I looked back and saw the police officer handcuffing the young man. The individual driving was very pleasant, concerned for the huge dent in the van, yet stressing himself. Everyone was calm, yet now our daughter has one more thing on her plate to deal with..
Okay, prayer requests:
1. Housing opens up so that she has a home that is safe. Her goal is to find a trailer, due to the 6 yr olds needs. I don’t think the housing will cover a trailer not on a park lot with HOA fees. So a home is essential, one in which the state will help pay.
2 That the insurance gives her hope about her van that now needs repair, with a $250 deductible
3. That our daughter gets a job that provides resources, mother’s hours and the ability to get a home.
4. That provides a lawyer who does pro-bono to get things in motion for her to obtain childcare.
5. David and I need help to get the heavy items removed. We’ve used the last of our resources, and would appreciate someone desiring to purchase the items that can be sold, yet also need rugged me to help Clean-out. We can’t sell the house with stuff in it. We need prayer this gets resolved.
6. We can figure out what went wrong w/my old computer that simply stopped working. It is where the log of time and expenses are recorded. We are not computer wizards.
Since David’s dad has passed, it has been one thing after another, as I try to keep up with what David needs me to do. I stepped back from being involved to avoid conflict, yet it made things worse.
While I maintain my sense of calm and joy, my heart is breaking. God knows, God see’s, God understands. I have to step back and let God do what He does best for His children, yet I have to reflect myself on where I might have gone wrong and how I might be better to handle this.
“You have nothing, because you ask nothing” So, I’m asking for your support in the request for prayers.
James, chapter 4, very powerful as a resource to reflect on