Let me tell yuns 'bout the 'Mater Faires…

  • Let me tell yuns 'bout the 'Mater Faires…

    Posted by Grumpy_G on September 12, 2022 at 6:54 pm

    ‘Mater Fairies are sprites that live in y’all’s gardens. They’s an awful happy bunch, most times, thet love nothin’ more then tendin’ y’all’s ‘maters. They be weedin’, and feedin’ and keepin critters away from them there ‘maters growin’ on yun’s vines. They ken be a bit ornery from time ta time, though. Sometimes, iffin you don’t tie a knot proper like, they’ll git all mischievous and untie it so your ‘mater vine’ll fall right over. Somes of them like hittin’ the ‘Mater Wine, too. They ken git a bit rambunctious when they does that, and ken start ta fussing an a fightin’ They’ll commence ta bumpin’ in ta yer ‘maters so hard that they crack ’em right open! They’s not bein’ mean nor spiteful when they does this, an they really don’t mean no harm. They’s just a bit high strung an cain’t control theyselves. Now, iffin you don’t treat ’em right, they ken get a bit contrary. Why they’ll up an’ walk right off the job, like a good union man, iffin they feel slighted. That’s when those critters git to yuns ‘maters an eat ’em right up. Sometimes, they’ll get in such a fit that their anger causes the blossom ends of your ‘maters ta rot plum off! When this happens, just turn the hose on ’em, as they enjoy a good rain shower, and put some vittles out for ‘um ta feed the ‘maters, maybe sing fer um too, an they’ come right round an git back ta work.

    Still, even with all that they’s good folk; even the ones thet cain’t hold they liquor. Iffn yer lucky, an ya look out ta corner of yer eye, in the light of the settin’ sun, y’all might just be able ta catch a glimpse of one of ’em, sittin right top a big ole red ‘mater enjoyin’ a rest afters a hard days work. The best part of gardenin’ is towards the tail end of a hot summer. Yuns know the kind where ya ken fry an egg on a sidewalk, iffin yuns got one. Well, at them times, yuns ken go out in ta yer garden and find them ‘mater vines laden so heavy with bright red ‘maters of all kinds a shapes an’ sizes that they ken barley stand up by themselves. That my good neighbor is when you know you done been visited by the ‘Mater Faires.

    • This discussion was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by  Grumpy_G. Reason: grammer
    Grumpy_G replied 1 year, 9 months ago 3 Members · 5 Replies
  • 5 Replies
  • Happinest_Homestead

    Member
    September 12, 2022 at 7:18 pm

    Oh my! That’s so funny. Couldn’t help but feel like I was listening to Festus while I was reading! 😂

    • Sandra

      Member
      September 12, 2022 at 8:50 pm

      When you said Festus, I too could hear his voice in my head as I read the story, especially since Gunsmoke was on the television

      • Happinest_Homestead

        Member
        September 12, 2022 at 8:52 pm

        I know! I could hear him telling that story! 😅

  • Sandra

    Member
    September 12, 2022 at 7:24 pm

    Beautiful, love your story, one I will remember and tell to the little ones when I get a chance

  • Grumpy_G

    Community Leader
    September 19, 2022 at 3:03 am

    Introducing our first ‘Mater Fairy tee. Cleatus thinks “You sure got purdy ‘Maters”.

    The artwork was done by one of our friends, who happens to be be a subscriber to our YT channel. Cleatus is done, and she is working on Maybelle at the moment.

    https://www.bonfire.com/34you-sure-got-purdy-maters34/

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